Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
