I just cut my nipple shaving
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
a search helicopter?!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
