I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
