My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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