im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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