who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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