One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
