so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
