i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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