You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
How does it feel to date your dad?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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