My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
