The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I supernannyed him into submission
i believe in u and ur pee
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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