**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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