I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
being pregnant is like rehab
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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