Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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