true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
