As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
