U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
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