please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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