i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
