No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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