maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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