I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i think i have herpe
just one?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
