Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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