i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
