You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
