hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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