Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize