He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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