so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize