So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
