I hate all girls vehemently.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Randomize
