i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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