And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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