There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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