how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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