Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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