I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
