is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
