Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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