i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
operation harelip BJ is a go
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
