I CAN MOONWALK!
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
