Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
