I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
