it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
