This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i drank out of a bidet.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
