Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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