ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
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