Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
