she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
