Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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