C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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