Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
