loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
