You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
When are your genitals available?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize