your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize