On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You're a waste of cheezeits
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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