I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You ate ashes out of my bong
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize