did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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