Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
