I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
