it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
