Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
