We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
